It is one of my feverish hopes that when I share my stories of life, school, coaching, work and volunteering that there will be something somewhere that helps someone somehow.  For weeks now I have been in Origami hell and I’ve subjected all my readers to it along the way. Never fear, I’m beginning to see the light.  I’ve booked David to take a photo of my four perfectly made Origami people (except for their heads which someone else will have to make extra folds on to get it to the smaller size) for all to see.  It’s probably going to be like that scene from Annie Hall when Woody finally sees the perfect boyfriend that she had been talking about and said, “that’s it?! This is the boyfriend” or some such.  But really, here is the real gem that the Origami torture has given to me: the last straw that could be put into at least a couple of baskets that I’ve been carting around have been placed. That’s it; I’ve made it to the end of my rope. No more. And this is a good thing.

At school, I’ve made appointments to talk with Department heads and their trusted advisers about how I can fast track my way into combining the rest of the classes I need to complete my BA with a MSSW and I also want to see about earning a Masters in Communication.  I just need to pull all of my documents together so that I have the density of a proposal that academia is so fond of to support my query.  And as far as providing services and consultation for free, I’ve been stretching myself very thin in that area and plan to have at least a couple of discussions and boundaries set and requests for payment made.  There is a good part of my life that I gladly give my service for free in gratitude for that which I have been so freely given and I will continue to give that service. What I’m talking about is my tendency to so want to support someone in their dreams that I overlook my own reality and put aside my own needs to help them create and achieve their own dreams.  Somehow making the Origami people and the mini desks and chairs satiated that need in me to give, give, give and ask nothing in response. I’m done.  And thank G don’t you think?

Talking with my mom on the phone tonight she shared with me a technique that she learned in OT residency while working in the psych ward (this is my best recollection).  She had a very depressed patient one time that she couldn’t get much of a response from so she would have that patient do the same little thing over and over again asking her to improve whatever it is that she was doing until finally the patient responded with an outburst of anger which is what mom wanted because then she could work with the emotions and consciousness behind that.  Anyway, this feels like the same kind of situation I’ve been in (only I’m not depressed and school isn’t a psych ward) having to do a task over and over again because it just wasn’t quite right.

Finally, I reached the end of my rope.  I realized that I am never going to be able to make everything in this class perfectly and that whatever I turn in is most likely going to be critiqued in a way that tells me my work is lacking. And that’s okay.  This has been a really good way for me to keep going to that dry well over and over and over again until finally my insides all lined up to say, that is enough.  And now I can start taking more fruitful action steps.

I have a feeling that I’m going to sleep better tonight than I have in a very long time.  May the Origami situations in your life bring you to the end of all that you know and may you see the rainbow overhead.

For years I have studied the 12 Steps (of Alcoholic’s Anonymous) and tried to apply them to my life. I’ve also explored, learned and taught all kinds of information regarding how to live my life well, to get out of myself (while taking care of myself at the same time…) and how to give back to others through various forms of service.

I’m beginning to believe that “transition” is a term for the 00’s.  From the time we were all zygotes, we’ve been in transition so it should come as no surprise to us when after twenty-five years or even five years of working in a comfortable job we find ourselves having to look for another one either because our company is laying off or because we are just plain bored.

(posted at www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about spirituality in the work place?  It’s probably not the first thing that comes to my mind.  I’ve been so steeped in the world of 12-step programs, coaching and exploring consciousness for so long that I have created this nice little cocoon of healthy soulful people who are constantly working on becoming more aware about how they interrelate with the world around them.  Unfortunately, this “spirit sphere” is a small representation of how the rest of the world believes and interacts.  Most people are so consumed with just getting through their lives that they do not take the time to look beyond the basic steps of Maslow’s theory (physiology and safety). 

(previously posted at www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your actions are not in alignment with your values?  I feel like once again I’m being tested by forces greater than I grok to stand behind what I value in life through my actions.  I really value exploring life and all of its meanings as deeply as I can so that I can act according to my beliefs and values.  The lovely dilemma I am facing now is to acknowledge, embrace and enjoy the gifts that my clients and I share because of being willing to talk about the spiritual aspects of life and its effects in both our business and private lives. At the same time, I’m being told by the radio station that I’ve been apprenticing and hosting pilot shows for over the past year that they do not want to have anymore shows focused on spiritual discussions.

(recently posted at www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

Since the early part of last year, many of us have been watching and discussing, “The Secret” and/or downloading a very old book available on the internet called, “The Science of Getting Rich”.  Many of us have run right off the beaten path with the main message for each of these and way deep into the woods of controversy.  The most important point that I gleaned from both was that “successful” people (“successful” meaning happy people living the life of their intentions) synchronize what they want with what they do.  They are fully intentional with their actions and follow through.

(Recently posted at www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

In Don Miguel Ruiz’ “The Four Agreements”, the fourth agreement is “Always Do Your Best”.  If you’re like me, when I first heard that I should always do my best my definition of what that meant skated mighty closely to the edge of what I understood “being perfect” meant.

(recently posted at www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

Whenever possible, a group of us love to take scuba diving vacations.  One vivid image burned into my mind is of our friend Vickie who enjoys swimming out past a wall dive at 70-80 feet and hanging out over the deep. With her arms and legs out to her sides in complete trust and abandon, Vickie hangs out in the middle of the deep enjoying the array of blue colors and the blissful feeling of trust and love.  Often times a huge tortoise, or other interesting fish, will swim out of the deep blue that she may have missed if she had stayed close to the wall with the rest of us.

 (recently posted at  www.lifebeforebusiness.com)

When I was in elementary school I learned the usual sports such as Four Square and Softball. I remember our P.E. Coach always telling us “to keep our eye on the ball”.  The issue for me was that I did not have the eye-hand coordination to negotiate where the ball was heading and when to connect with it. Instead, after several miscalculations and bruising my nose and neck, I began ducking.  At first the ducking was as subtle as a ducking could be, a slight away movement of my body, but with time my ducking became more pronounced and obvious. I soon became “that” girl who was the last to be selected for any team. Who wants a ducker?

For some time now, I’ve been wrestling, exploring, surrendering and accepting what it is that I want to do for work with what shows up at my doorstep.  Every Monday morning, three coaches from across the U.S. and I explore various book subjects and discuss how to apply them to our lives.  Currently we are in the middle of “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson.  The section we focused on today was “Work” which has turned out to be a perfect response for my fear that unless I try to control every little piece of having the business or career of my dreams, then I won’t get to have it.