A few days ago a good friend , who happens to be one of the nation’s top digital publicists, sent me a query from HARO (Help Out A Reporter) which was for a PBS show focused around great baby boomer online communities.  They specifically wanted to hear about those online communities that aren’t being shouted about off of the rooftops like some of the bigger and well-known SNS.

Of course I broke the rule immediately by giving a shout out about LinkedIn even though it is one of “those” bigger sites that is well-known. But I did it because although most people in the business world at least know about it and I hear a lot of people talking about signing up or saying they’re signing up because they know it’s a good site to hooked up with not many (in my opinion) are really taking advantage of diving into the community of LinkedIn.

I began using LinkedIn in 2006 upon the suggestion of said good friend when I left a steady paying job of ten years as an associate partner at a technical recruiting agency to provide my services as a Life Coach full time. I knew just enough about technology and communities to be dangerous (which means not enough to understand how to really engage myself and others in the virtual world). I must admit that for a good year or so I pretty much was a ghost presence on LinkedIn. In other words, I could tell people that “oh I’m on Linkedin” but that was pretty much it until another good friend asked me if I had ever explored their Question and Answers feature? He encouraged me to dive in and read some of the topics til I found one (or some) that interested me and then jump into the conversation.

I was coming from a background of seeing how prima donna developers would flame someone out on a board or in a chat room so I was very hesitant to just jump in to LI. Overtime though I couldn’t help myself. What started developing was a give and take, a back and forth between me and many people from all over the world. I’ve always considered myself “highly sensitive” but it wasn’t until I “felt” my first energy exchange using LinkedIn that I realized really getting involved in a community so that you got to know people and they got to know you could be very special indeed. In fact, I’m writing a book about this called “energy surfing” which I hope will make you curious about instead of wary. I’ve made many friends over the years in LI and have over 500 contacts though I have tried to be very careful about who I “accept” as my friend. Just as we can experience friendships at different levels in the “real” world, you can experience that in LI as well with the added bonus that without the interference of our physical bodies and the distractions that all that entails it is almost as if we’ve been giving a safe harbor (as LI is monitored) for our souls to play and work.

Sounds a little wacky I know, but I’ve saved some of the dialogues between me and others on LI to give examples in my book (once I’ve obtained their permission of course) of what I’m talking about. I think that I “felt” will be evidenced in the discourse but only time will tell upon others reading it. Anyway, LI isn’t just for businesses and there happens to be a lot of baby boomers out there in the world working harder then ever. What I love about this community is that it offers an intergenerational plus multi-cultural exchange so it’s not just one age group or one race or one religion or one type of people, it’s a diverse smorgasboard.

So if you’ve been sitting on the sidelines just touching your toes to the water there’s no time like the presence to jump in.  Go sign up for a free account first to check it out and then when you’re ready, check out the Questions and Answers section and explore what groups you’d like to join.    January is just beginning, what are you going to do differently this year?

It took listening to coverage on NPR about Kurt Cobain (inspired the Grunge movement, died as a rising star back in 1994) for me to finally consider getting really intentional about my work (coaching, writing, web radio interviewing).  I mean, don’t get me wrong, when I was working in an 9-6 job going 90 to nothing recruiting people from all over the world and attracting new clients I had “to do lists” all over the place. And I did quite well. And made good dinero too!  I realize now, that I was using my “to do lists” also as my intentions list.

So back to Kurt. In the story, they talked about how successful Kurt was and, of course, how he wrestled with his fame as well. One of the practices that Kurt did everyday was to write down what he intended to do with his songs and music. And he was very specific about it.  I don’t know, maybe it’s the rebellious spirit in me (smells like teen spirit) but for some reason just knowing that Kurt wrote down his intentions/goals and was specific about them (and very successful, did I say that? very successful) was enough for me to begin writing down my intentions/goals again and getting really specific. I figure if Kurt could do it, I sure can too.

Although I’m very connected on social networking sites and I use my Android all the time, for me, there is nothing better than writing down my days intentions on a yellow legal pad. And the ink has to be blue.  I put dashes out to the side of each intention and check them off as I get them done. I also label the top of each page “TO DO” and date it.  What I don’t get done, I transfer to the next day and re-prioritize.  As I’m doing my day if an idea pops into my head for something that I want to get done, I write it down on my list.  If there are phone numbers/emails/addresses to go with it, I put that down too. Yes, I know it would be much more efficient to use a program in my phone but for some reason I really prefer writing it out.

Maybe writing out my goals enacts a chemical release in my brain much like crying tears releases chemicals too. Who knows? I just know writing down what I want to do and accomplish helps me to get things done.

How about you?  What intentions can you be specific about and write down/type up?

There are so many things that I can take a stand about from animal abuse (don’t you dare!) to watching where you flip your fins when you’re scuba diving (and don’t hit the Coral on your way down!).  But sometimes, when it comes to taking a stand about what I want to do for my life’s purpose (helping others to find hope and joy AND earning/attracting more than enough to live well) it’s not as easy for me to do.

In Edward Hayes’ book, “Prayer Notes to a Friend” in one of such notes he says, “I agree with the American writer Henry Miller, who said, “The full and joyful acceptance of the worst in oneself may be the only sure way of transforming it.” He goes on to say, “Those are powerful words, they suggest how self-defeating it is to hate those dark aspects of ourselves of which we are ashamed.  Even more destructive are attempts to perform exorcisms on our inner beasts, seeking to drive them away instead of converting them into our personal angels who might then assist us.”

Now, I have to tell you that I’ve thought of changing my inner beast in all kinds of hopeful things but I’ve never quite landed on an image as powerful as converting that inner beast into my own personal angel.  That kind of love almost cracks my heart open.

How does this dove tail into taking a stand you might ask?  Well, because before I/we can take a stand about something or ourselves, it seems as if we have to accept all of who we are first good, bad and the ugly.  Once we’ve accepted ourselves we can take a stand for what we believe in.  At least in so far as that stand has to do with what we believe our life purpose is and what we bring to this banquet called life.  I used to joke that I loved “leading from behind” because I always seem to put myself in situations where I’m the second in command, the Tonto to your Lone Ranger, when it comes to work situations and never quite have the courage to risk getting out in front of the pack and possibly falling flat on my face and landing a few bruises on my chin.    It’s a helluva way to not fully live your life by not taking a stand for who you want to be and how you want to show up for your life.  Seems like there should would be a whole lot less baggage to cart around if we just stepped forward, doesn’t it?  And converting that inner beast into your own personal angel to help you along the way.

How are you either going to take a stand for your life or how have you already done so?  Curious minds definitely want to know!

Taking a Stand for Yourself!

Had a great visit recently and caught up with VocationVacations Founder Brian Kurth who is visiting friends in Austin, Texas and elsewhere as the summer comes to a close.  Brian and I have known each other since 2004 and I so respect his creativity, entrepreneurship and the amazing energy and focus he has to take an idea all the way through to fruition.  Needless to say, when Brian throws his experience, strength and hope my way, especially when it comes to my Coaching business, I listen.

What I took away from our meeting today is one of the reasons that highly creative entrepreneurial minds have such a hard time landing on something and seeing it through is because of the need to focus.  There are so many great ideas out there to be thought about and the energy of expounding on them and getting them going can be absolutely exhilarating.  So if you have the same kind of creative mind and wandering attention span as I do it’s about learning how to follow the “rule of three”.  Corral your ideas in and focus them into three areas.  For me, that  concept is perfect since I love coaching, writing, and broadcast interviewing equally as well.  When other ideas come my way, which they always do, I will either find a way to funnel them into one of my three career areas or I will let them go for now.

And maybe, just maybe I’ll get uncomfortable enough about the parts that I haven’t touched in my three career areas…that I will actually do something about them instead of diverting my attention on to some new shiny idea that I can waste my time and energy on (shout out to mom, Kat and Vicki).  After all, I have been talking about putting together a book for years now!  See how good I am at diverting my attention?  It’s another form of procrastination too.  Again, if you are a highly creative person please know that that is such a lovely wonderful part of who you are.  Really embrace it! And, just like everyone else who has something about themselves that can get in there way of their greatness—we’re no different. We have to come up with our own strategies for success.  Be sure to grab on to people who can support you.  Shameless plug for myself, this is one reason that I am a great Coach for creatives and entrepreneurs because I so understand where you are coming from and as it goes, I can see what other people can do to help themselves because I know what I can do to help myself.

Remember: Focus and keep your top interests to the “Rule of Three” and see how you’re able to mature your creativity and channel it into constructive systems/products/situations that lead you to your greatness!

I believe in you because I believe in me—let’s discover together what is possible!

Creativity and Procrastination

About seven years ago, I took the Winslow Assessment because I wanted to offer it to my coaching clients and my Coach at the time used your own personal assessment as part of the training for understanding and explaining  it to others.  One of the personality traits that stood out about me was that I had pretty much off the charts a need for recognition.  Just like “if you give a mouse a cookie” , having a high need for recognition can be a good thing or a negative thing depending on how it is perceived and handled.  Some of the wisdom that I received over the years from the wonderful Coaches who I have worked with includes the belief that we all have needs. Needs are not good or bad, they just “are”.  Much as a flower needs sunshine, soil, water and nutrients, we “need” certain things as well.  Then it was advised that when you recognize an unmet need, to come up with as many ways/times/conditions etc. as you can to get that need met. In other words, create a way to get your need saturated.  Coach Steve Straus likes to say that he believed that “needs can be permanently healed:”.  When I first heard Steve say that, I thought that sounded pretty off the wall but I respected him enough to hang with it to see if it was possible to permanently heal a need and I’ve come to believe that, at least some needs, can be permanently healed.

Some of what I did to get recognized in a healthy way was to write.  I’ve been writing and writing and writing since 2006 and in fact just began another 365 blogs in 365 days competition with myself.  I also have been hosting web radio shows, one that is defunct and one that has been going on for a few years now (www.blogtalkradio.com/hope42day) where i get to interview all kinds of people from all over the world who are up to good things that bring hope to us.  Slowly, ever so slowly I began to feel that need for recognition dissipate where I preferred to share recognition with others and in some cases reflect it to others completely.

Some of the gifts that come from healing that huge need for recognition (that probably got me into a lot of trouble in my youth!) is that I can take my kudos from all kinds of places and in all kinds of degrees today.  One of my favorite Starbuck’s Baristas and soon-to-be-radio-talent Herc Trevino, gave me some of the nicest compliments about some postings of mine the other day as I grabbed my java.  Absolutely made my week!  Another friend on LinkedIn voted my share as “Best of” for her Question which was a true honor that I really appreciated.  Did I need either of these to meet my need for recognition? No.  But I accept them gratefully and take in the generosity from which they were given with gratitude. Such a nice place to be in when receiving instead of being needy, needy, needy!! But I haven’t figured out yet how to get through the needy, needy, needy without finding a way to absolutely drench yourself with ways to get your needs met first so that when you are (I am) recognized, I’m able to receive and reciprocate the appreciation that has been extended because I have an overflowing cup to give from.

The grandfather of coaching, Thomas Leonard, used to tell us to get your needs fully met so that you can then give to others from your reserves. The idea being that you can give from your overflow gladly because there is plenty to go around.

What kudos/recognition/needs have you recognized today?

Accepting Kudos from Whence They Came!

Seth Godin’s blog today was  “Dig yourself a hole”. The premise is that “focused energy and serious intent will help you to do your very best work”.  More importantly, creating a space so deep and narrow that you don’t have anyway to go except up or forward. In other words, you can’t escape.  Of course the song that immediately began playing in my head was “Shake it up” by The Cars. Shaking up the complacency, rut or routine of your life is a good thing.  You never know what will fall out or together.

It doesn’t take a huge leap to shake it up, in fact, you can shake it up in very small steps.  Here are some of my ideas:

1.) Drive a different way to work (or to run errands, visit a friend, etc.);

2.) Blast out making appointments that you’ve been putting off one right after the other. Today I took care of three doctor/dental appointments that I’ve been sitting on all summer;

3.) Clean out your files/desk…be willing to THROW  AWAY/SHRED as much as you can.  Make room for new energy coming in.

4.) If you’re not used to doing thins by yourself, go do something by yourself. Enjoy a movie or go to a museum.  Likewise, if you’re not used to doing something with someone else, invite someone to enjoy an activity with you.

5.) Think of one thing you’ve been saying that you were going to do for awhile now.  Don’t say anything more about it until you’re at least half way to completing it.

6.) Find a meeting that you can go to, listen in on, or watch that is on a subject that you know very little about but have been curious about.

7.) Quit smoking. Quit drinking. Quit over eating. Trust me, any one of these things will shake your routine up!

8.) Find a class that you can take to learn something new.  Be willing to stretch out of your comfort zone.

9.) Write or call someone and tell them thank you for something that you wanted to tell them but never find the time.

10.) Rearrange all the furniture in one room of your home.  Move plants, art, pictures, etc.  Find new ways of expressing yourself.

Remember to enjoy yourself and for heaven sake’s SHAKE IT UP!!

My good friend Kat posted an awesome video about the actor Will Smith which is very inspiring to me. Among the things Will talks about is that being unrealistic is okay if not an ideal to really go for!  As I swam my mile laps this afternoon I thought about what it meant to be unrealistic and what Will was trying to communicate to us about not setting limits on ourselves about what we can accomplish.

It occurred to me as I was swimming and thinking (135 laps gives you plenty of time to mull things over!) that I had many people to be grateful for pushing past what was unrealistic.  Take the pool I swim in for example! We bought our home 15 years ago pretty much because of the pool.  It’s not a little kidney shaped pool….it’s nice and long and conducive for swimming many laps.  I would imagine that the people who built it had to have been told how unrealistic it was to even build a pool (“you’ll never make the money back on what you put into it”….) much less the kind of pool they built for swimmers. But boy am I glad they did!

During Will Smith’s video montage he talks about working and focusing hard on what you want in your life.  As he was talking to the host he used the example of each of them getting on treadmill’s  and that either the host would get off first or Will would die trying to be the last one off.  I so understand that kind of  drive and mentality.  I couldn’t say that I’ve applied that kind of desire to my coaching in a traditional way, meaning I’m not going to bowl everyone over who I think is in my path and keeping me from being the best Coach ever.  But I do have a drive to attract a specific kind of client—the kind who has already done a lot of growth work on themselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically and who wants to dive in deep to get the most out of coaching they can.  In a way, my usual hard-headed, unrealistic approach to the kind of work I enjoy doing has allowed me to carve out a pretty nice life for myself.  I’m not driving around in a fancy car or wearing designer threads all the time but I am directing all my decisions and actions towards being able to live and work in a way that is more in alignment with who I am.  Let’s face it, having my dogs curled around the edge of my chair while I type this is much more preferable to me than driving to a beautiful office up in the sky everyday.  Not that I don’t appreciate the beauty and excitement of an office like that, but having my home office, dogs and sometimes husband around me stirs my creative juices like no other place I’ve ever worked.

How will you go beyond the unrealistic today?  Have you already been going for it and if you have, tell us how?!

There are so many ways that you can apply the advice to stay in the game from literally staying in a game you’re playing, like softball/baseball, instead of giving up when things aren’t going your way to staying in the game of life, when right now many are effected by the economy and for people who live in Texas, we’re experiencing a really horrific drought as well as many days of 100+ degree heat.  For this blog though, I am referring to staying in the game of allowing the intimacy of a relationship (friend, lovers, spouses, family) to unfold.

Isn’t staying in the game of intimacy with each other really what “it” is all about anyway?

This morning I had a very interesting conversation with a mentor/friend about a subject that I hold close to my heart.  Almost from the very start of the conversation, my friend seemed to misunderstand where I was coming from and kept warning me to be careful in regards to what I was talking about which immediately put me on the defense.  We went back and forth this way for about ten minutes.  A very, very uncomfortable ten minutes.  After all, we’re both grownups and have done a lot of emotional/mental and spiritual work on ourselves so it was better to hang in there with each other and let the trust and safety of our eleven year friendship navigate us through the mine fields.  Somehow we got through to the edge of being very real about what was going on from my friend looking at how our conversation had unfolded and how I felt unsafe to share when really when someone gets on the defense as I had, what they’re really wanting is acknowledgment from the heart.  And we were both able to share honestly about how we grew up learning how to crawl up in our heads and think through something when we were afraid. God forbid we would ever allow ourselves to feel. I’d triggered fear in her.  By the end of the phone call we were both acknowledging each other and making amends.

There’s something very special about being willing (and able) to stay in the game in a situation like this when every corpuscle in your body may want to run to the farthest corners of the Earth.  Not only do you learn how to trust the person that you are in the game with, but you learn to trust yourself as well.

Imagine all kinds of boardrooms and offices which could hold the space for allowing people to stay in the game rather than figure out how to end the game so they can get the hell away from all that uncomfortable intimacy?  Much less marriages which could be richer, friendships sweeter, families united wherever people are in relationships with each other they can help each other grow by allowing for each person to be in process safely.  Process is messy, intimacy sometimes colors outside of the lines but it is possible to do both with your heart and head when you are receptive to it.

What game will you stay in today?

What comes to my mind immediately when I hear salesperson is  straight  out of a 60′s sitcom TV land where the salesperson is a cross between one of Samantha Stevens’ relatives and right  out of a Maytag storefront from Mayberry RFD. They’re someone who is wearing some form of all over checkers, snapping their fingers and popping their gum.  They have  slicked back hair in some style or fashion to give the overall feeling of a schlemiel and whose main objective  in life is to get the most out of you that they can for whatever product or service they are selling.  These characteristics have been baked in mind over many decades!

Fast forward to the end of the 90′s and the 2000′s when I found myself recruiting technical architects, developers, project managers from all across the globe.  Imagine my surprise when I learned from one of the consultants we’d hired that from their perspective  recruiters a.k.a. head hunters were as close to used car salesman as they could get.  That’s not how I saw myself at all and I spent a decade helping to create a team of recruiters who earned the reputation as someone who cared about the people who we worked for (our company, the consultants as well as the clients) and that we were looking out for their best interests—not just our own.

I left my tenure as a technical recruiter to pursue my calling as a Professional Life Coach. Along the way I’ve been writing and blogging as well as producing, writing, and hosting a web-based internet show (Hope42Day).  During these past few years I’ve heard many things from friends and family as they try to pin down what it is a do and how I do it well from “Lynn you’re a great writer, you’re a great interviewer to you’re great at inspiring people’. The one aspect/skill that has come up time and time again whether it’s by professional assessments or personal opinions is that I’m a great salesperson.

WHAT?  Me?! But I don’t even slick back my hair and I don’t own anything checkered how could this be?!

You may have heard over the course of your life that the Divine/God/Higher Power/Energy that flows all around us has a great sense of humor.  I seem to attract this into my life so naturally falling into the opportunity to sell a product for a good friend is of special hilarity I’m sure!   I so love the lighting fixtures that my friend sells and believe in the hard effort that she has put into creating this product that I naturally have found myself talking about it in an enthusiastic way to anyone who will give me the time.  It wasn’t until I told my friend about a conversation that  I had with the store owner of a very upscale furniture/design place that she offered to pay me commission for any connections that end up as sales for her product.  Being the networker that I am, I immediately set up a meeting with the decision makers of a company who I just know could use her product.  Next week I’m meeting with my friend and her team to learn even more about her product and where I can make presentations about it.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I am a Life/Executive Coach first, blogger and interviewer second and somewhere in and out of these I am informing people about my friend’s products.

Okay, I’m a salesperson.  And I’m having to get over my own bias of what a shyster that a salesperson can be to realize that is not who I am.  Slowly I’m recalling some of the true salespeople I’ve known in my life, whose career was 100% sales and I’m realizing that I’ve actually known some really good, kind, honest people who happened to sell a product or service—I just hadn’t thought of them as being a salesperson.  I thought of them as being more a relater of important information for me to make the best decision.

So if we run into each other out on the streets when you’re with a friend, you may introduce me as someone who is a Coach, Writer and Broadcaster. You can also tell them that I’m very enthusiastic about a lighting product that I can tell them more about if they’re interested but please, please, please don’t call me a salesperson!!

1.) No matter how many calendars you keep for your schedule, none of them will do you any good if you don’t look (listen) at them!

2.) You really can start your day over, start your life over, get on back with your plan at any moment in your life.

3.) It takes more energy for you to push away good things coming your way then to open up, let-go and receive.

4.) You really do have ideas and wisdom inside of you to help you answer your prayers if you will only stop and listen.

5.) When two different people begin talking with you about the same subject matter—listen, when a third person begins talking with you on that same subject–pay attention, it may be a test question! If more people start talking about the same subject as everyone else—you can laugh and know that the Divine has a great sense of humor.

6.) It is possible to be in better shape in your Fifties than you were in your Twenties.

7.) If you have a product or service that you believe in and want other people to purchase from you, keep finding ways to get the word out about it and don’t give up.  People are listening and seeing, you just need to keep going and know that your “tipping point” is not far away.

8.) There are more people who want to help you accomplish your heart’s desire than those who do not.  Focus on those who do.

9.) It is also very generous to be a good receiver of love, gifts, wisdom, hugs.  Help others feel the joy in giving by how well you receive.

10.) A butterfly cannot crawl back into it’s cocoon even if the wind is blowing hard and the rain is mighty. It has been given everything it needs to be able to fly to freedom, nutrition and love all it has to do is jump off and fly.